Boarding School fic DISCONTINUED!
by BoneLotus
Summary: After John dies, Sam and Dean go to boarding school where, predictably, their roommates turn out to be the loves of their lives. Destiel, Sabriel, OOC Lucifer/OFC Warnings: Mega-John-Bashing, homophobia, violence, angry!scary!Dean, smoking, slash, swearing and a desperate author begging for reviews. (No smut, sorry.)
1. Sam & Dean 1

I'm broke so don't bother suing me for this.

* * *

Sam's know he prefers boys to girls his whole life, but he didn't understand the concept of 'gay' until he was 10. His father was sitting in a dusty old armchair, his lap and the floor around him decorated with empty beer cans and he was drunkenly ranting at the TV about the Armed Forces new policy of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. He slurred and mumbled his words

"They're letting fags in the Army, Marines, they shouldn't let those freaks queer it up." When Sam, ever curious, asked his father what a 'fag' was John turned his head slowly and looked at Sam like he had forgot that his sons were in the room, forgot that he had sons at all before he answered, stumbling over his words

"They're men who like men 'stead of women," he continued as he turned back to the TV "and every last one of 'em's goin' to Hell."

Sam nodded his head and quietly said that he was going up to his and Dean's room to do his homework. John may not have noticed Sam's quivering upper lip but Dean did. Dean made a lame joke about having Sam help him with _his _homework, hoping it was enough to placate his near-unconscious father and quickly followed Sam to his room, where the door was locked tight and Dean could tell that Sam had pushed a towel into the gap between the door and the carpet to help muffle his sobs.

Dean gently knocked on Sam's door. Sam blew his nose and responded with a watery

"Go away."

Dean tired again, "Sammy, it's me, not him, please open up, I wanna talk to you." Sam told him to go away again but sounded much less resolute about it this time. For his little brother, Dean was not above begging "Please let me in Sammy. If nothing else I know you need a hug." Dean heard the door unlock but it didn't open. When he entered Sam's room he saw his little brother wrapped in a blanket, sitting on his bed with his knees to his chest, rocking as he sobbed. Dean came to sit on the bed beside him but Sam was quick to move away. He growled "Don't touch me" before starting to sob again. Dean was in agony, seeing how broken his brother was. He asked Sam gently

"Why don't you want me to touch you?" Sam's sobs quieted enough for Dean to hear his brother whisper "I don't want to get it on you." Dean moved to hug his brother again and this time Sam wasn't fast enough to get away.

"Sammy, believe me when I tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you."

"That's not what Dad said, he said I was a freak who was going to burn in Hell."

Dean didn't hesitate for even half a heartbeat before he told Sam firmly "Dad's wrong." Sam looked at his brother, whether his expression was shock or awe or fear that he was dreaming, neither of them knew. Dean always did everything their dad told him to do, instantly. He obeyed his father mindlessly, doing anything that was asked of him.

Dean saying that their father was wrong was just unnatural, like those 2 headed fetal pigs that Sam saw in that museum he loved to visit. There was just something inherently different about it, it was not normal, it went against everything Sam believed to be reality and again he was afraid that he was dreaming.

Sam had to clear his throat before he quietly asked his brother "What do you mean?"

Dean squeezed his little brother tighter as he said "There's nothing wrong with being gay. Dad just…doesn't know what he's talking about."

"So it's 'cause he's drunk?" Sam asked in a small voice. Dean smiled sadly at his brother.

"No, it's 'cause he's an idiot."

Sam laid his head on Dean's chest. "So I'm not going to Hell?"

"No," Dean assured him "You're not going to Hell."

"And there's nothing wrong with me?"

"Well," Dean said as a smile finally appeared on his face again, "You are kinda short and nerdy."

Sam playfully shoved Dean away from him and said happily, throwing a pillow at Dean, "Jerk!" Dean's smile grew wider as he easily caught the pillow and threw it at Sam, where it hit him in the stomach.

As Sam pretended to be mortally wounded Dean shook his head laughing, "Bitch." Before Dean left Sam to his homework (which Dean knew he actually planned to do, the little geek) he looked at his little brother, his smile faded but not entirely gone as he took Sam by the shoulders and told him firmly,

"There is nothing wrong with you, Sammy but if you need to talk about this, come to me, okay? Not Dad."

Sam quickly agreed.

It worked pretty well for a while, Sam talked to Dean when he needed advice about guys (turns out teenage boys have a lot more in common with teenage girls than Dean thought.) His advise was usually very helpful, although it was almost always "Lead with your brain, but follow your heart." (Dean could be downright sage-like when he got the chance.)

* * *

Like the title says, this story is discontinued but it doesn't have to stay that way. *cough* Review *cough*. Also, Misha Collins is awesome. And adorable!


	2. Sam & Dean 2

Don't own, don't sue.

Also, this is incredibly unbeta'd.

* * *

It was Sam's 12th birthday when it all fell to crap.

Sam was caught sharing a very chaste birthday kiss with a boy he had a huge crush on.

Dean didn't know about the rest of Kansas, but apparently some of the people of Lawrence were about as open to homosexuality as John Winchester was. But the real bitch of the thing was that most people didn't see it as 'you'll go to Hell when you die' so much as 'I'm going to send you to Hell myself, you freaking pervert.'

The teacher who found Sam freaked out and as both he and the other boy were pulled away from each other Sam briefly wondered what could be upsetting the woman so much. The kiss was innocent and sweet, just a way of giving a present when you're 12 years old and don't have a penny to your name.

He was harshly tugged out of his musings quite literally when he was dragged by his wrist into the main office. The woman who had dragged him there sounded panicked, as if someone had beaten Sam up instead of kissed him, but then he heard the words that he thought would be the end of him "I need John Winchester's phone number."

Dean was running down the hallway with a look in his eyes that warned even the teachers to keep their mouths shut lest Dean break their jaws. It had been between classes when Sam had been caught and this was a middle school.

Every middle school has at least this in common: the speed of light is nothing compared to the speed of gossip, especially really juicy gossip. Like, say, the most popular guy in school's little brother being caught bent over a desk with another guy inside him (gossip is like a game of telephone except there's no winners, just losers.)

Everyone kept their mouth's shut around Dean, they'd all seen him angry and they knew he would do anything for his little brother.

Everyone kept their mouth's shut, that is, except one asshole who had 'foot in mouth disease' (and would later be diagnosed with 'Dean's boot so far up your ass you can taste his steel toes' disease.) He had the nerve (and apparently the death wish) to ask Dean if being a slut ran in the family or if Sam was just a good little bitch.

Dean's big brother sense had been tingling and he instantly realized what the guy meant.

Without stopping to so much swear, Dean ran towards the office, where Sammy was sure to be, making a mental note to thank the idiot for informing Dean of Sam's problem in the most painful manner possible (hence 'Dean's boot so far up your ass you can taste his steel toes' disease was combined with 3 ribs broken (2 shattered), a concussion, half a mouthful of teeth missing and one very bloody, very broken nose (Dean made sure to stomp on it twice, just to be safe).

Dean got to the office in time to hear his father's drunken roar over the phone at being told what his son had been caught doing and see Sam's eyes go almost inhumanly wide with terror. He ran to Sam and tugged the woman's hand off Sam's wrist, (the woman looked relieved, like she was finally able to throw something slimy and disgusting away.)

He held Sam close, murmuring soothing things in his ear that they both knew meant nothing but helped Sam's eyes close a bit more. In that moment, Dean had never hated anyone or anything more than he hated that woman, who treated his brother, the best person Dean had ever known, like he was a squirming, slimy tarantula and she couldn't wait to be rid of him. His rage at the woman dimmed as he listened to his father over the phone, the rage he felt toward his father growing as he heard him say things about his own son that should never be said about anyone, anywhere, no matter what. His father was loud enough through the phone that, even though he was very clearly drunk, _very _drunk, Dean managed to decipher that his father was headed to the school to "settle this his way".

Though the woman couldn't care less about Sam being hurt, possibly killed, she did worry about the idea of a drunken man in a rage driving to a school that was about to let out. She tried to protest but all she got in return was the click of a phone hanging up.

She turned to glare at Sam, though the hate in her eyes was nothing compared to the look in Dean's. Dean was past rage by now, he was downright feral and even this idiot woman knew better than to approach him or Sam, but she backed away from them, facing them the whole time as she hissed and pointed an accusing finger at Sam.

"You did this, if he hurts anyone, kills anyone, it's entirely on your hands."

Dean bared his teeth and his growl was so animalistic that Sam looked up at his brother to make sure he was still human, and not a beast there to punish Sam for his sins. Dean growled at her, his voice inhuman with hate. "Then I hope he only gets himself killed."

Sam and Dean just stayed there for what stayed like hours but couldn't have been more than 10 minutes when the phone rang. The receptionist listened for a moment then timidly turned to face Dean.

Her voice and arm trembled as she held the phone out to him. He just glared at her until she assured him, "It's not your father, he says he's your uncle Bobby." Dean looked at Sam for a moment to make sure that Sam would survive being out of Dean's arms for however long it took to talk to Bobby. Sam gave him a small fearful nod and Dean gently let him go to take the phone from the woman who nearly passed out from fear at being so close to Dean.

Dean put the phone to his face, made a noise to let Bobby know he was there, and as he listened to the man that was practically family, his face slowly stopped being contorted by rage and became completely impassive. After a while Dean gave a gruff "Yeah." and handed the phone back to the woman who looked slightly less terrified now that Dean was acting a bit calmer. Dean walked up to Sam and said impassively "Dad's dead. Ran into an abandoned warehouse.'

There was only one things Sam wanted to know, "Was anybody else hurt?" Dean shook his head as a tiny smile graced his face. "Just him." Sam stood up so fast that it might have been an actual jump for joy and hugged his brother tight. He sighed, half relief and half joy "He's dead. Thank God." Dean was outright grinning now as he tousled Sam's hair, who scowled at him like everything was finally right with the world and Dean laughed. "Sammy, we're free. I feel like singing that that 'wicked witch is dead' song from the Wizard of Oz."

Sam looked at Dean, who deflated slightly at his brother's stare and sighed. "Yes, I watched it, yes, I liked it, now let's never speak of it again." The receptionist looked horrified now, at two young men rejoicing their father's death. She shook with anger as she pointed to the door. "Out. I never want to see either of you again." Dean gave her his most charming smile, which made her even angrier as she told her "Don't worry Sweetheart, I doubt that's gonna be a problem."

As the brothers walked out of the school something occurred to Sam. "Dean" he asked hesitantly "Where are we gonna live?" Dean slapped his face at his own stupidity and for a moment Sam was worried until Dean pulled his hand away and smiled at his brother. "I forgot the best part!" he laughed "We're gonna live with Bobby, Ellen and Jo." Sam's face brightened and Dean swore he was slightly blinded by the sight. "We're gonna live with Uncle Bobby? Not just stay there until social services takes us away?" Dean's laughed so hard that tears rolled down his face.

"Apparently Dad had a will, gave Bobby custody of us. The old fucker finally did something good for us!" Sam grinned and wrapped his arms around Dean again but Dean suddenly swore and Sam let go quickly. "What's wrong?" he asked his brother, only to be met by the biggest grin that could possibly fit onto Dean's face.

"I was wrong! That's not the best part!"

"What is?"

"He left me the Impala!"

* * *

*cough* Review *cough* Misha Collins is awesome. And ridiculously sexy.


	3. Sam & Dean 3

Reviews will get you everything, suing me will get you less than nothing.

Incredibly, totally, unbeta'd.

* * *

When Bobby rolled up in his truck the two boys didn't even try to hold back their smiles, and, well, Bobby couldn't fault them. He was smiling, too. The will had been old, really old, like, right after their mother had died and right before John decided he'd like to go out in a blaze of cirrhosis. That was back when John and Bobby had been friends. The instant Bobby saw what John was doing to Dean (and Bobby knew the only reason Sam wasn't cut up and covered with bruises was because time after time, Dean would throw himself into harms way, to keep Sam safe) he was furious. He threatened to pump John "so full of rock salt you'll crap margaritas."

He went to the police but they said that since Dean didn't want to press charges, they really couldn't do anything. Bobby tried to stay in the boys lives and help as much as he could, but John, enraged that Bobby had gone to the police and deluded enough to think that Bobby wanted to steal his sons, calmly pointed a gun at Bobby, who stood absolutely still, and told his old friend that if he ever came near him or his sons again, at which point he kept looking straight at Bobby but pointed the gun at his children cowering in a corner, that Bobby wouldn't be the one to pay. He said he'd rather have his sons be dead than be someone elses'.

Bobby quickly left and in the 7 years since, the only break he took a from trying to find a way to save Sam and Dean was to marry the local sheriff, Ellen, who he fell in love with over her determination to help the boys, too. And Ellen fell in love with him from watching him work constantly to save the boys and, though Bobby didn't know it at the time, she had said yes even before he popped the question.

They didn't even take a honeymoon, just had dinner in the nicest place in Lawrance (which wasn't really all that nice but at least they had the cleanest bathrooms in town) and Ellen fell even more in love with Bobby as she watched him be a wonderful father to her daughter, Jo.

Bobby couldn't keep his happiness out of his gruff voice. "Well, how you feelin', boys?" Both Sam and Dean said "Great" with a huge sigh of relief then started talking over each other, Sam talking about how happy he was that their father had never updated his will and Dean positively gleeful at the thought of owning the impala. Bobby looked at them in the rearview mirror, shaking his head and calling them 'idgets' with a smile almost as big as the boys.

In 7 years they hadn't changed a bit, thank God. When they got back to Bobby's house (which instantly felt more like than home than their house ever had) Bobby introduced them to his wife, Ellen, (Dean bowed his head sheepishly when she looked at him and they both silently decided to not tell anyone that this wasn't her first meeting with Dean) and his step-daughter. He didn't introduce her to them as his step-daughter, or even his

daughter, he just said "And this pretty thing right here is my Jojo."

Jo's scowl looked so much like Sam's that Dean had to laugh but the laughter quickly died as Ellen told them that they had two very important things they needed to talk about. The boys looked at each other nervously and Ellen laughed, "Don't be scared, boys, I said serious, not deadly."

The brothers relaxed a little (hearing Ellen laugh, it was almost impossible not to.) They both stiffened again as Ellen very gently said "Now Joanna here told me what happened today."

Underneath the table Sam clutched at Dean and Dean looked at his brother in such a way that Sam found himself relaxing again. Dean had protected him this far, he had faith that Dean would keep protecting him until the day he died.

When Ellen saw the terror leave Sam's eyes she continued. "I understand that you and another boy were caught kissing, which I'm assuming means that you like boys." Sam hung his head in shame and nodded. Ellen's warm laughter filled the room again. "And I wanted to let you know that no one here has any problems with that." Sam couldn't help but ask, "So you don't think I'm going to Hell?"

Ellen's kind eyes darkened, "Honey, the only person who deserves to go to Hell is the one who made you think that _you_ would." Sam and Dean couldn't help but chuckle at that and Ellen's eyes widened in sudden understanding.

"Couldn't have happened to a more worthy person." And Bobby nodded his head in solemn and wholehearted agreement.

"Now on to the second matter at hand," Jo's face brightened and she perked up at a conversation that should could actually participate in. "It involves your mother, which I know must still be a very painful memory, but it's good news and I think you'll like it. Mary had a will too, one that John apparently didn't know about. She knew about his drinking and anger problems and she wanted to make sure that you two were safe. She couldn't give Bobby custody of you while your father was still alive but she could pass on the things she wanted you to have when you were older. There are a lot of letters in there to both of you, some personal items but the thing we're focusing on now is that she left you two quite a bundle of cash, and in a saving account too, so after 14 years you two have almost a half of a million dollars saved up."

Sam and Dean were speechless, frankly, neither of them could even comprehend that much money.

Bobby continued "But that's not what we really wanted to talk about." Bobby saw they dumbfounded look on both boys faces. "Sam! Dean! Yes, you have tons of money and you can celebrate that fact later, but this is important."

Sam and Dean calmed down and looked at Bobby as he continued, "I think everyone here understands how cruel bullies can be," everyone's eyes darkened at that but Bobby pushed past it. "And I doubt that those ignorant asshats are gonna start treating you better now."

Dean was looking at Sam with concern so Sam was the only brother who saw the look on Jo's face at that comment. He had only known enough about Jo to be able to recall her name when he saw her face but he was betting that she understood what Sam was going through all too well.

Bobby paused for a moment and continued "Ellen and I have been thinking for a while now about sending Jo to boarding school and we finally have enough money saved for it." Jo suddenly looked happy again. "Obviously, we hadn't planned on you two joining the family but I think that we can all agree that any of you going back to that school would be a big mistake.

"Now, Jo's a really smart kid, like you Sam." Sam beamed and Dean feigned an offended "Hey! I'm smart too!"

Bobby chuckled "I know you are Dean but your grades don't reflect it the way Jo's and Sam's do. Because of Jo's above average test scores, she has been accepted to a very good boarding school know for its zero-tolerance policy for bullying." Sam's eyes lit up again. "You two have enough money to pay your way, if you want, though I suggest Sam go with a scholarship, no matter how rich you are, it never hurts to be at least a little frugal. Their next term begins in two weeks. Are you boys interested?"

Neither of the brothers even had to look at each other to know that they were both nodding their heads almost frantically in agreement.

* * *

Blah, blah, blah. *cough* Review. *cough* Misha Collins is awesome. His hands are totally porn-worthy.


	4. Cas & Gabe

Yoda: Own I don't so sue you mustn't.

Darth: Join the Dark Side. We're unbeta'd.

* * *

Just FYI: This was gonna be smut-filled before it got discontinued, so of course, Sam is Gabriel's roomate and Dean is Cas'. So, for the purposes of this story, Castiel is older than Gabe.

* * *

There's a loud flurry consisting mostly of pained sounds, an occasional grumble and a longwinded flurry of very colourful and intricate curse words coming from the stairway between the third and fourth floors.

"Ow! Cas, why- Fuck!- aren't you helping me get this- Son of a motherfucking bitch!- suitcase up the stairs?"

A quiet but gruff and amused voice responds. "Because I was intelligent enough to make a request for a first floor room in enough time to get one. Oh, yes, and my excuse was better, too."

"Ouch! Fuck you Cassy, I still say my excuse was great. Bitch!"

"What was your excuse again? I believe you told the woman with a gigantic rosary that you needed a room on the first floor because, and I quote 'Most of the hot guys live on the first floor I want to be down there to get some' –what was it? Oh, yes,- 'Hot anal action."

"Why the fuck, -Son of a whore!- would you memorize that?"

The gruff voice (Cas) hummed for a moment, as if wondering whether or not to answer before going on to say "For this exact moment right here."

There's a soft but solid _thunk, _followed closely by the unmistakable sound of both a small body and a huge suitcase tumbling down stairs it had take 20 minutes to get up, the small body still cursing and grunting all the way down.

"What the Hell, Cassy?!"

"_That _was for telling Michael about Steven." A pair of shoes went down the stairs, the cursing boy grumbling both a idle threat, an apology and a thank you as the gruff voice held his hand out to help pull the fallen boy off his feet, the other hand lifting the suitcase like it weighed nothing –"Showoff."- and getting to the top of the stairs in less than a minute.

"First off, I'm sorry I told Michael about that prick but he was using you! You couldn't see it and Michael and I are the only ones that know,"

"Don't forget Steven."

"Steven suspects, he doesn't know and that just proves how lucky you are, not how smart. I had to help you and you wouldn't listen to me so I went to a voice of authority."

"Since when do you think Michael has any authority over us?"

"No _us_, Cassy, _you._ You still care about what the big man upstairs thinks about you."

"Barely" the gruff voice scoffs.

"Enough. And more than you'd like to believe, too."

The gruff voice is quiet, bitter and spiteful. "Fuck you Gabriel. I don't care what anyone thinks about me." Gabriel sighs and opens the door to his room.

He says gently "Come on, Castiel, talk to me. We both know we're the only one the other can talk to."

"We can talk to Balthazar."

"You're avoiding the issue, Cassy. You spend so much time saying that you don't care what anyone thinks about you and maybe everyone else believes you but you and I both know that the person you're trying to convince is yourself."

The trembling words sound so wrong coming out between lips made for a gruff voice. "I don't _want_ to care." Castiel sounds like he's about to cry. Damn it, he is about to cry and he hates that. He hates crying. He thinks of himself as a cat, in a sort of way.

Cat's aren't the strongest animals out there, and the way they protect themselves is by always acting strong. They never show pain, they know that if they do, the other animals will attack them and they'll end up dead, or worse. Cas is like a cat. He can't show pain or doubt or confusion or any kind of weakness because he knows that if he does, then the monsters who can pass as human beings will descend.

"I know Cassy I really do, but you have to believe that good people do exist."

"You're good, and Balthazar. And Michael kinda is too, in his own way."

"We'll discuss in depth all the things that are wrong with you thinking Michael is even remotely good later. Right now, you have to believe that there are good people outside of our weirdo little family."

Cas tries to sound angry but his sad sniffles kinda ruin the affect. "Why? Why do I have to believe that good people exist? I believed that before and look where it's gotten me."

"That's because you weren't careful about who you trusted. You did that whole, judging-the-book-by-its-movie thing, or however it goes. You kinda tend to assume that if someone is beautiful on the outside, then they are on the inside too. You've gotta start looking at the inside first, before you decide if the outside is beautiful. And you _have _to believe, because otherwise you'll go bat-shit insane and the part of the crazy uncle you only see on the holidays has been reserved for me, thanks. So stop pissing on my territory."

Castiel laughs "You're not crazy and I doubt you'll ever be an uncle. One brother is gay and the other is practically a monk.

Gabriel makes a choking sound "My heart is breaking Cassy! All my dreams revolve around being the crazy uncle. Who will I pass my tricks onto now? Maybe I'll have a kid!"

Castiel snorts "Still doubtful, you're even more gay than I am."

Gabriel huffs "I am not more gay, I'm just more flamboyant."

Cas giggles "I think you mean flaming." Gabriel gives Cas a playful shove off the bed.

"Meanie! Go down to your plush first-floor room and lay in the lap of luxury and by that I do not mean that hooker off Point street with the gold cowboy boots and leather chaps."

"His name is Luxury? Oh my God, you know his name!"

"Shut up, all I did was talk to him! He was wearing assless chaps, for God's sake! How the hell was I supposed to resist that?"

"By remembering he's a hooker and almost certainly riddled with even more diseases than the bathroom floor of that nightclub you forced me to go to in Portugal."

"Hey, you got some action, don't complain!"

"I was groped by a 40 year old woman who stuck her tongue so far down my throat that I though it was gonna come out of my ass!"

Gabriel pauses to think for a second "That could be an interesting experiment." he muses.

Castiel pretends to gag. "That's disgusting Gabe." He opens the door to the hallway and says "This is why Balthazar is my favorite brother."

"He's our cousin!"

"Makes the rejection sting that much worse doesn't it?"

Gabriel barrels out of the room, attempting to tackle Cas but ends up falling flat on his face.

Cas snorts "Graceful." and helps his brother stand up again. They give each other a hug and Cas looks at Gabe mischievously.

"You know, that's the second time today that you've fallen down and haven't done your horrible old lady impression."

Castiel does a terrible impression of Gabriel's even more terrible impression of an old ladies voice "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up."

Gabriel shoves Cas again. "Fuck you Cassy! And stop stealing my bits."

"Better not let Michael hear you say that." Cas warns

"What, fuck? I can say it all I want! Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck! Fuck Michael and all his fucking fucks. I don't give a flying fuckity fuck if he hears me." Cas is staring at something just a little behind and a lot above Gabriel's shoulder as his eyes widen in terror. He instinctively draws into himself, needlessly hiding himself from what will only be a verbal attack.

Gabe asks quietly "He's right behind me isn't he?"

Cas bursts out laughing. "No, but the face you made was just priceless." Both boys quiet as they hear two male voices coming up the stairs. One says "Okay Suite 4012 should be right here." Gabriel shoves Cas away again, turning to give his brother a huge grin. "New suitemate. I hope he's cute!"

* * *

I gotta say, he may be crazy OOC, but I love my Gabe. What about you? *cough* Translation: Review *cough* Misha Collins is awesome. His hipbones make me drool. (It's bad guys. I'm dangerously dehydrated.)


	5. Cas & Dean

Borg: We are broke. Suing is futile.

[Still] Borg: We are lazy so this is unbeta'd.

* * *

Cas gives his brother a parting roll of his eyes before he heads downstairs to meet his new suitemate, repeating the mantras that Gabe made him memorize (he's choosing to not repeat the obscene ones, he'd rather his suitemate meet a respectable looking Castiel, not a Castiel sporting a very embarrassing, difficult-to-hide boner. (Cas is quite big, but there are times when you show off and times when you don't. This is one of those 'don't show off' times.)

He also has a vague hope for his suitemate to be- well, not cute, cute was more Gabe's thing- sexy and ruggedly handsome, not to mention gay but a very small but still loud voice prays to every deity in existence that his suitemate will be boring and ugly, not smart or funny or interesting or…oh dear, now he's fantasized a bit and he's looking less 'Respectable Cas' and more 'Boner Cas'.

'Come on, Castiel, think of something not sexy.' He immediately hits on the image of their pudgy, bald, scary, headmaster in a bright yellow thong. The image almost makes him throw up but it's worth it because he's instantly lost even a semblance of hardness.

Maybe this will be okay. Interesting, funny, smart suitemate with average looks. Not exactly unattractive, but decidedly not his type. Then the door opens, his suitemate walks in and the shit hits the fan.

* * *

Blah. Review, review, review. Misha Collins is awesome. His ass is awesome, too. The only person with a better ass is Jensen.


	6. Lucifer & Sofia 1

Yes, I'm American and I still spell it 'colour', sue me. (On second thought, please don't.)

This bit is tiny so I guess it's only a little bit unbeta'd.

* * *

Lucifer sat in his chair, his legs on the table. He'd be the picture of nonchalance if Sofia didn't know that while what he's drinking appears to be ice tea it's really mostly tequila with just enough Dr. Pepper to make it the right colour. Lucifer is in the exact same prison that Sofia's in but he somehow manages to smuggle in porn, liquor, cigarettes and drugs, all prescription stuff, mostly Adderal for the idiotic people with a healthy sleep cycle but not enough good sense to start studying for the test or start writing the essay on time.

Lucifer himself never touches the stuff. He jokes that his addictions are far more exotic, always making "exotic" sound like a soundbite from a bad porno. No, Lucifer stays with liquor and cigarettes, which he happily shares with Sofia.

When her curiosity gets the better of her she asks "How the fuck do you get all this stuff in?" He shrugs and looks at her with a mischievous smirk saying simply "I have my ways."

* * *

This is so small that I won't try to pressure you into reviewing (but, hey, if you want to, by all means, please do!) Misha Collins is awesome. He has the bluest blue eyes in existence. Nothing is bluer than Misha's blue eyes.


	7. Lucifer & Sofia 2

I know this doesn't really fit with the rest of the story but I like the scene and it's an important plot point if I ever do dis-discontinue this.

*Does her 'Please don't sue me' dance* (Actually, it's more of a jig, but, meh.)

Massively unbeta'd.

* * *

Once, she comes to the cafeteria at 1 AM and he's sitting in his normal chair, in his normal position, waiting for her as he always does, with that ridiculously sexy evil smirk on his face, the only difference aside from

the time is that now he's smoking. Before she even finishes sitting down, he holds out a cigarette out to her, she doesn't even have to ask first. She tries to grab it but the smug bastard makes her take it with her lips, then lights it while he holds her chin in place. When he lets her go she looks at him, incredulous.

"When did you even get here?"

He shrugs. "Who said I ever left?" She takes a drag and shakes her head, saying as she lets out a smoke ring,

"Sometimes I swear you really are the devil." He laughs loudly, leans his head back against the chair and makes a smoke ring that goes through her's, destroying her's but leaving his completely intact.

"If only" he says dreamily. "Think of how much I could get done."

"You always say that." She responds. "What are you gonna do? It's almost senior year, you're smart and ruthless enough to do anything you want," he interrupts her with that same damn smirk.

"That's sweet. I especially like the ruthless part." She growls at him

"You know I hate when you interrupt me." "Fine, fine," he says, waving the hand holding the cigarette lazily, "I apologize for interrupting you, please, continue with this scintillating conversation."

She smacked his arm and he gives her a look that clearly says if anyone else did that, he would take a pound of blood and not even bother with the flesh. She kinda thinks it's sweet.

She continues "In about a year and 2 months, we are both graduating and getting out of this godforsaken hell hole."

He makes a small laugh "Hey, watch it, this is my home you're talking about."

She can't help but ask "Souix Falls or a godforsaken hell hole?" He gives her his smile that says 'Ask all you want, I'm never gonna answer so you might as well move.'

She takes another deep drag, grumbles and continues "What are you gonna do after you graduate?" He gives her one of his few expressions that isn't tailor made to egg people on, the expressions he reserves solely for her. He smiles at her sadly, takes a drag and says "Same thing as you, probably."

She glares at him, she's not sure if she should be angry or scared so she settles on a mixture of pissed and offended. "That's not funny."

He looks up at the roof as if it's the night sky, something he hasn't seen unobstructed in a long time. He's slow to respond, he takes a drag that seems deeper than possible for a human being, much less a human being like Lucifer who probably has a pack-an-hour habit. He slowly breathes out, not even bothering to make a smoke ring this time. It makes her worry. He always made smoke rings.

He said sadly "It really isn't, is it?" They've gone to the same school together for 5 years and for 4 of those years, all they've ever really had was each other. She doesn't know a lot about Lucifer and she knows nothing of his life outside of here. They were the only two students who never left on break, not even summer break and she could count the number of times he had even admitted to having a life outside of here on less than one hand.

In all that time, this is the first indication he's ever given that he feels more than just his exterior emotions of anger, possessiveness and a mischievous sense of humor. And she's reminded that he feels a lot more than he lets on, he's just really good at playing it close to the chest. She looks at him and she swears that his eyes are almost watery, that he's only a second away from crying but almost instantly the look is gone. He still looks sad, he's still showing her that he's not all surface, but his eyes are completely dry and even more empty.

She says softly. "I don't like when you talk like that."

He stops staring at the ceiling but still avoids her gaze, "I don't like thinking about it either." His mask is suddenly back up, all the walls intact again, but for the first time there's a tiny chink in his armor and she doesn't want to let this side of him go but she already senses that it's too late.

He says "So let's not dwell on it. The past is past and we don't have a future, so let's live in the present."

She touches his arm softly and he looks at her and as he (probably instinctively) pulls away not just from her, but from all human contact.

She softly asks him, or maybe she's begging, neither of them know "Please don't do that to me." The walls don't break but his voice does.

"I'm sorry." It's the first time she's heard him say that. "I don't want to, but I have to." And before she can reply he's hugging her and it's the best hug she's ever had, and judging by the way he's acting, she get's the impression that it's the _only_ hug he's ever had. She feels completely safe with his arms wrapped around her and then just as suddenly, he lets her go and moves as fast as he can without running, going past her and once again she's wondering the question she asked him her first day there, the question that got her into his good graces.

The first thing she ever said to him. She stood next to him, looked into his beautiful grey eyes and asked him with just a hint of a smile on her face, "Who the fuck names their kid Lucifer?"

* * *

I like my characters to smoke because I don't anymore. Lucifer is my nicotine patch. My puppy dog eyes aren't worth shit so look at a picture of Cas' 'you don't think you deserve to be saved' expression and imagine that he's asking you to review. You don't want a sad Cas, do you? When Cas is sad, he and Dean don't eye-fuck and that's just awful. Misha Collins is awesome. Sometimes I doubt he's human because I don't think it's physically possible to be so, incredibly adorable and so fucking sexy at the same time.


End file.
